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NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity Posters
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This is by far the best book that I have yet read on the subject of infidelity. I would recommend it to anyone trying to survive this challenge.
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This book is very good for both partners in the damaged marriage, particularly in the early stages of discovery and reaction to the affair. It was very helpful in getting my spouse, who was involved in an emotional affair, to realize what he had become involved in, admit to it, and make a commitment to working on our marriage. I would highly recommend reading this book in conjunction with "Getting Past the Affair".
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I wonder if anything can be more traumatic than the infidelity of the person you love and trust the most. If you are hoping to keep your relationship together, you can't risk sharing the private turmoil of emotions with your family, your children or your friends - those who would comfort and support you if your partner were ill or died. Nothing makes any sense.
I ran across a very helpful article by Shirley Glass on the Web. When I saw she had written a book, I couldn't get my hands on it fast enough. After reading just a little, I started flagging thoughts here and there that struck home. Pretty soon there was a sea of flags flapping off the pages! This is a really valuable work. There is so much insightful material in here; she is respectful of all parties, but helps shed light on the situation and bring a little sense into chaos. The hurt, the anger, the rage -- sleepless nights, weight loss, depression and despair are all normal, which is hard to know in the middle of such a desperately painful situation. I was often startled to read things that echoed my own thoughts, things that happened, things we talked about, and ways we behaved. I am going to reread it, especially all those flags; and I think I will have a new basis for some meaningful conversations. This book has been a great comfort to me; I got much more benefit from it than from a couple of sessions with a therapist. Dr. Glass explains the pitfalls of relationships that can develop into affairs; so one can be forewarned of the dangers and avoid those situations. She talks a lot about the healing process, and how it can take a long time. She helps you see what both parties need to do to make a sincere effort to reconcile. If it can't be worked out, she also discusses ways to eventually move on. This ought to be required reading for every couple; be aware that this can happen to anyone - even in a happy marriage. It's definitely a Must Read for anyone reeling from the hurt of an unfaithful spouse, anyone who has betrayed their partner, or even the affair partner (who incidentally is treated respectfully). In short, if you are struggling and suffering, this will help.
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My husband had an affair with a co-worker for about a year and I just found out on July 1st of this year. The devastation felt was overwhelming and you cannot think straight nor understand the why of the entire thing. This book gave me a road map to understanding my husbands actions and weakness since we have been married for 30 yrs and he never did anything like this before. We had a happy and relatively good marriage so that made it more difficult to understand. It has helped both my husband and I to overcome the guilt, shame, anger and hurt that a betrayal of this type brings to a so called "Happily Married Couple." We are on the road to recovery and are closer and more intimate than we have been in years.
I hightly recommend this book to anyone who has been unfaithful or has been betrayed.
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This book literally has saved our marriage. i read it and resumed some dignity from what I read, and my husband read it and is aware of the mistakes he has made and not even aware of it. Excellent book to read, before you decide to walk out that door.
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