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Rating:  -
From a guy who loves horror flicks that have perverse and even schlock humor infused into them, I have to say that HATCHET goes way beyond camp into utter stupidity. For those of you looking for a cool Evil Dead 2-esque take on the slasher genre, you will be extremely disappointed with this hack job of a film. Hatchet goes something like this: After a painfully long and dull setup, teens get trapped in the bayou and stalked by an invincible burn victim. One gets killed, and they run to another part of the bayou and bicker. Then the maniac shows up again, kills one of them, and they run another 100 yards (somehow shaking the guy off their trail). Repeat. It all gets so repetitive that I soon wished the killer would be a little more efficient in doing his work. In my opinion, Hatchet replaces Slumber Party Massacre 3 as being the worst slasher movie ever made. I am quite sure that watching it actually destroyed brain cells.
For an awesome slasher movie that's got campy laughs, I encourage you to revisit some of the 80's yarns like SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT ("Punish!") or FRIDAY THE 13th PART 6 "Jason Lives" (Jason get reanimated by a bolt of lightning).
Rating:  -
This was a great start for Adam Green. Sure some of the acting was flat. But, the script had a "real" feel to it. The gore was great. Didn't use stupid CGI blood.
Rating:  -
Hatchet producers got one thing right: put plenty of female nudity into a horror film. Check. Other than that, the film flops on every level. Badly written, horrible art production, an ineffective idea to make a horror film a comedy...it's not the kind of classic old school horror film I grew up loving. I need a heart stopping scary character, girl-next-door female B-actresses who take their clothes off, good dialogue, and at least a decent set of movie-making skills to make the production watchable and enjoyable. This film didn't have 9 out of 10 of the required elements.
Rating: -
A friend of mine recommended "Hatchet" to me as a movie that would get horror back to its glory days. After reading some negative reviews about it, my expectations were tempered a bit, but I decided to watch it anyway.
"Hatchet" is about a group of people who go on a boat tour in a Louisiana swamp. However, this particular swamp, as legend would have it, is home to a brutal murderer or his ghost. The plot is not bad in and of itself. However, what transpires in "Hatchet" is basically a largely tasteless so-called comedy which utilizes extreme gore and over the top violence to appeal to a specific audience that finds this stuff to be entertaining. In a sense, "Hatchet" is actually a movie which trashes the horror genre, which is fine if that is what you are looking for.
Perhaps I was drawn into this movie by thinking that it was going to be an old school horror movie. However, "Hatchet" is certainly nothing of the sort. I honestly do not see what anyone means by this movie representing any kind of horror of the past. To me, "Hatchet" is a movie which is very similar to "Monster Man" in style, which is another movie that utilizes extreme and over the top gore mixed in with crass humor to appeal to a specific audience. In my opinion, it is not horror; it's just stupid.
The truth is that "Hatchet" represents what is really pathetic about the horror genre today. "Hatchet" does not take itself seriously, and while that is fine in and of itself, I guess I was just expecting something else. As far as horror goes, there is none in "Hatchet" except for some extreme blood and gore, which is rather poorly done in my estimation. People that love blood and gore (gorehounds) will probably love "Hatchet", but that is all that it has to offer and it's certainly not creepy, eerie, chilling, scary or disturbing in the slightest. In short, there is no horror. On the contrary, "Hatchet" unfortunately provides the true horror movie fan with a boring and cliched story, horrendous acting and directing, a terribly executed plot, some lame blood and gore signifying nothing, some largely crass humor, and just a phony/fake horror movie all the way around. Basically, this movie is a complete waste of time as far as I am concerned, and I am so glad that I only watched it on cable. That being said, I could have thought of at least a billion other more enjoyable ways to spend that hour and a half of my Halloween.
Rating: -
Please don't waste your money or time on this movie. It is by far the worst horror movie I have ever seen. Very stupid, horrible acting, and bad story. There is pointless flashing and you find yourself just laughing at the fact that someone put their money up to make this movie. You will be better off buying any other horror movie. Don't waste your money.
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