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Rating:  -
Although well written and researched, Gail Sheehy's book was a major disappointment. Having experienced many years of discomfort, especially on location, I assumed that somewhere in 'Understanding Men's Passages' I'd find advice on how to treat my chronic hemorrhoids. Alas, not a word. Clint Eastwood made the same mistake, but he cured his by actually reading the book in one sitting.
Rating:  -
This isn't an awful or poorly written book, but it really seemed skin-deep to me (42yo male). The author skimmed the topics, even though she apparently interviewed a lot of men. It just isn't deep at all -- to me, it was like watching a television show. By comparison, "Iron John" by Robert Bly was very deep and thoughtful. Years after I read that book, I'm still thinking over some of what he said.
Rating:  -
Gail Sheey's "Understanding Men's Passages" is a good book to read to grasp the basic developmental stages that men go through in life. Other books on men's issues sometime fail to recognize the importance of these sequential and natural passages of early, middle, and later male adulthood.
I enjoyed the book, but Sheey sometimes overuses examples from men who, quite frankly, do not quite fit the norm (rich, famous, and powerful). It appears that data supporting Sheey's book came from men in all walks of life. Why then, does she often use interview data from men who the average reader cannot identify with? When reading through this book, I sometimes wondered if Sheey met the elusive "every man" in each of us, but truly does not know the common personality characteristics that we, as men, exhibit. She also mentions virtually nothing about single men.
Strengths: The cover is eye-catching. And in general, Sheey is a gifted writer who draws the reader into her train of thought. She has also really done well in connecting with medical personnel who are familiar with men's health issues. Parts IV, V, and VI were perhaps my favorite parts of the book to read.
Years ago, I read Sheey's "Passages" for a class on adulthood and aging. She goes beyond that book in "Understanding Men's Passages," but not quite enough.
Rating:  -
Reading this book is a necessary gut-wrenching experience. Nobody likes to hear exactly the idiotic things we men sometimes do. Especially from a woman...right guys?
Sheey is right on the money. You will find your father, brother, GRANDFATHER and buddies all here. As well as yourself. And *that* is the gem this book will leave behind: finding yourself, situating your thoughts and realizing that you are not all that crazy..that, yes, you can stay in the saddle or get back on it. You are hardly alone.
Two comments: One, don't take the age ranges literally (Sheely advises the same thing). Two, enjoy the book while it lasts, because "the meaning of life" is not described at the end of the book. The book reads like a novel at some points, BUT it is not. If you get to the end and are still clueless. Put it down and think hard. You will get IT. Read it. You will be glad you did.
Rating: -
Gail Sheehy's book contains some wisdom that I found helpful, but I also found myself wanting to throw the book out the window more than once during the reading.
The good side is that she interviews men whose stories I could understand and whose words touched my pain. There are plenty of stories from men that have been where I'm going now at age 48. About 25 percent of the stories made sense to me and filled in more than a few puzzle pieces in my life.
The bad side is having a good writer like Gail Sheehy write a book about the male world is like Newt Gingrich writing a book about lesbian life. Eventhough the writer tries hard not to interject their innate opinion it comes through, and I as a man resented and felt hurt at the stereotyping the male species, the paragraphs that you just don't say to a guy that's down on his luck, and the "how great women are doing these days."
The book does contain some wisdom that I'm glad I found: older men talking about their lives. The downside is I had to read some passages that just ripped my guts out . . . almost like stepping on a landmine.
I'm glad, though, that I read it.
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