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This book lays out a very tough subject in an approachable way. I felt much better after reading this guide. As the recently betrayed I was looking for so many answers, and this book pointed me in the right direction. My cheating spouse also found this a helpful, "easy" read.
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I think this book is great, it addresses the children involved in infidelity much more than any other book I have read. It also explores how people can react when you confide in them. I honestly think this is the very first book people should read upon discovering an infidelity. It can act as a great guide post keeping the situation from getting any worse than it already is. Pretty quick read, and VERY helpful.
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Dr. Lusterman comes to this subject with years of experience as a private practitioner and university level teacher in family therapy. This book is well written in language suited for professionals and the couples who seek their help in recovering from the trauma of affairs.
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I bought this book to help me understand and put perspective on my marriage. Last year I had an affair and told my husband. We both had a hard time. He couldnt understand why I did what I did, and neither could I. We had been married for 10 years and together for 13. After a few months he went and had an affair with a mutual friend. I couldnt understand and have spend the last year trying to understand and get through it. It was totally eating me up/ I know I did the exact same thing and several times more than he did. I was so hurt by the betrayal. I ordered this book and read it in 2 days. It had really helped me understand why I had an affair to begin with. I was trying to replace the romance I thought was missing. It gave good insight into what leads to the breakdown of a marriage and how to prevent it. I could have used this information a year ago. It also spoke of retalitory affairs. It shed some light on how my husband was feeling and how bad I had hurt him. After reading this book I was finally able to sit down and talk to him about everything that happened without either one of us getting mad and screaming. We are working on building trust and with the help of the knowledge we got from this book, I have faith in us. I would recommend it to anyone who is hurting like I was.
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This book saved my sanity and has given me back my confidence and self esteem. As I read it, I felt as if I could have written it. It is very balanced and easy to read without a lot of psycho-babble. I also liked it because it is written for both the "involved" partner and the "discovering" partner. I recommend this as the first book any partner should read when faced with this incredibly painful situation. I am still in the very beginning stages of recovery but this book helped restore my sense of hope in the future, whatever the outcome.
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