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This book is very accurate in its portrayal of the causes and aftermath of an affair and offers some tools and a pathway back from a very dark place, if you chose to. A must read for all couples.
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I found this book very disappointing. I expected to get a lot more out of it.
It assumes both parties are equally comitted and it touches on issues very uperficially.
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This book is so awesome!!! It has so much great info in it. It is a book that is so easy to read before you know it your done. It makes you really think about your relationship prior affair and after affair. What went wrong and were it went wrong at. It offers so many was to open up communication and how to talk to one another without fighting. There isnt enough things to say how AWESOME this book is. Must have for anyone in a bad situation. It has a questionnaire at the end that both partners can do and an agreement for both partners to read and sign. It helps lift your spirit and makes you think that this isnt the end of the world and that you can make it through. I have a new found hope for my marriage and a new attitude towards everything. I am looking at the bigger picture and the brighter side of things. I am alive and I still have my family and my husband. We go to thearpy and with all the great info in this book just put what we have learned into action and hopefully great results will be the outcome. Get this book you wont regret it!!!!
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I suvived my ordeal by following the advice in Dr. Harley's book as well as on his web site www.marriagebuilder.com. I had an affair several months ago. I was totally confused, devastated, depressed, and thought about suicide. I tried looking for help but most people are not sympathetic toward the wayward spouse. I learned about Dr. Harley and was comforted to know that he understands the wayward spouse's feeling and point of view. I followed his advice regarding total separation from my lover valuable- it was the hardest thing in the world to do- I loved him and the thought of never communicating with him devastated me. But I am so glad in retrospect that I lived throught the withdrawel. I now have a better relationship with my husband, and after three months of not communicating with my lover, I can now see the affiar for the mistake that it was. I am very grateful to Dr. Harley- his iron-clad policy regarding total separation with my lover was absolutely right!
I highly recommend this book especailly if, like myself, you are having an affair and would like advice on what to do next. I understand your pain and struggle. Trust me, buy this book, or at least go to his website and read the articles. You might think that total separtion from your lover is impossible. Trust me, the pain was excruciating, but it was it. I saved my marriage and my life. And you can save yours.
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I bought this book because I have no less than THREE different friends whose marriages are suffering the effects of affairs--all of them emotional, not physical. Some of the other reviews cite that the examples are unrealistic, but I found that many, many of the details (including the long-suffering faithful husband) are exactly what my friends are experiencing. Furthermore, this book helped me gain a little insight into why two of the cheating spouses have expressed no regret--that the faithful spouse needs to honestly assess how he/she may have contributed to the marriage being vulnerable in the first place. This book has been helpful as I have sought to help my friends, for different parts have been directly applicable to their situations and have provided practical help. There are no happy endings--yet--but the clear advice in this book is helping them to gain some sense of clarity as they hear that there are others with similar situations, feelings and struggles. It is also helping them gain stability as the book gives specific suggestions on steps to take. Note that at no point in the book do the authors guarantee that a marriage will be rebuilt. It is a given assumption throughout the book that a marriage can only be rebuilt if both husband and wife are willing to try.
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